Ryan Plesko

I was sitting here trying to think of something interesting and smart to write but I couldn’t come up with anything so I decided to tell you a story.

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I liked to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a… Wait, that’s not the one…

When I was in high school I joined the American Association for Nude Recreation… or I tried, at least. It all started when I read a column in the Houston Chronicle by Ken Hoffman. He wrote that there was going to be a nudist convention just a short, thirty minute drive from where I lived. Cha-Ching! The idea of naked old people never entered my mind - I had thoughts of naked women fanning me with palm leaves as I lay by the pool.

I didn’t think I should go by myself, though, so I talked to a fella that I worked with who was home from college for the summer (his mom also happened to be the guidance counselor at my high school). He agreed - attending the naked person convention was a good idea. The only drawback was that we needed to be members of the AANR to attend. Not a big deal, though - we made a phone call (from the electronics department of Service Merchandise), I think we paid a membership fee, and they took care of the paperwork. That was that - now just to wait for the big day.

Unfortunately, my attention span tends to be fairly short. About two weeks later I came home from school to my mother standing in the kitchen asking if I had joined any new organizations recently. I thought it was a weird question for the end of the school year. Then she plopped an AANR new member packet on the countertop. I recognized the logo and the happily unclothed, yet strategically covered, people on the cover. Apparently they send those things out in the mail.

You know that hot feeling you get when you’ve been caught at something? I got that. All over. If I had been naked I’m sure you would’ve been able to tell. I tried to tell my mom how I became one of the newest members of the AANR but she did not find the humor in it. She ended up calling them and telling them that I was only seventeen. I ended up grounded. I’m blaming Ken Hoffman - I hear he’s a jerk anyway.